It’s been five years now since two lucky blokes have been
able to watch top European football matches from the best vantage point in the
stadium – standing pretty much on the pitch.
Masquerading as ‘goal line assistant referees’, it includes
donning referee uniforms and holding a cattle prod.
Duncan Crossley, 46 from Sheffield, interviewed after a
particularly thrilling Champions League match at the Bernabeau commented, “Brilliant,
bloody brilliant. I only ever get to watch matches in the upper tier, and
usually only at Bramhall Lane – and here I am watching Real Madrid inches away
from the action”.
However, his colleague behind the other goal, Jeff Jackson,
was less than enamoured by the experience. “Granted, I had a fantastic
unobstructed view when the action was at my end” he said, “but when the ball
was in the opposition box, I couldn’t see an f*ing thing”.
Mystery surrounds the process of how the two fans got to be
standing where there were. For the purposes of this article, several online
ticket agencies were contacted, but all denied having tickets available for these
two vantage points.
Goal line assistant referees hit the news this week when the
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger whined, “I do not know what the guys behind the
line are paid for”. What? Not only do they have the best spot in the house, but
they are actually paid for it too!!?? If that is not a dream job, I don’t know
what is.
Further speculation surrounds the necessity for holding a
taser for 90 minutes. Rumour has it that it is solely to be used against Luis
Suarez during biting attacks.
